For my week-long break from school, as I mentioned earlier, I went down to southern California to visit my family. I spent some time with my mother and father, visited with my doctors, but mostly spent the time with my friend Johnny.
I have a tendency to overflow with pessimism towards my hometown, and this is only increased when I’m there. I don’t have a car, television, or much money to entertain myself with, so I often get really irritable and complain about how much of a ‘black hole’ Encinitas is, which doesn’t really help with people wanting to hang out with me. Johnny has an impressively high tolerance for my negativity though, with his own brand of cynicism, so we spent the majority of the break together.
Recreational activities for us include:
- teaching me how to take tequila shots
- watching cartoons with his younger brother
- getting his Jeep smog-tested
- pooling our/parents’ money to buy fancy grilled cheese sandwiches and soup
I find it really strange we didn’t talk much in high school, but whenever I bring that up he points out that we’re talking now, and makes me feel silly for living in the past so much. He’s perfected the art of living in the present, which I’m totally envious of but sort of look up to him for. He’s a lot smarter than I am but doesn’t try and make me feel dumb, so I always feel like I’m learning something when I’m around him. I’m a lot better behaved than he is, but being around him makes me question how much that really is worth to me, which I think is a good thing too. It sounds really embarrassing, but I think I really look up to him? Or really respect him? All of that sounds too formal, because he doesn’t make me feel like a side-kick at all…
I guess I really appreciate his point of view on things, because it makes me feel like a better quality of person when I take it into account. I want to be around him because it’s thought/heart/soul nourishing, and I think that’s the difference between ‘liking’ a friend and ‘loving’ them, because I really only feel this for a handful of friends I’ve grown close to these past few years.
When I left to come back up to the city, I felt dully sad for a couple of days, like a little kid who moved away from their old neighborhood or something… I never felt anything close to homesickness before I actually bonded with someone I could turn to when I was down there. (I have a lot of other friends, but we’re separated by jobs and distance now.) Not even ex-boyfriends illicit that kind of sad nostalgia.
Johnny told me not to dwell too much on being sad when I was gone, so I won’t allow myself to be after this post. I have a lot of work to do for uni, and I know he will be working hard as well, so I’ll buck up and try to make everyone back home proud of me when I come back, so I can deserve having such good friends & family. ☆